Free resilience tool
Find your core values
Your values are the things that matter most to you about how you live. When life lines up with them, things tend to feel right, even when they're hard. When it doesn't, you often feel unsettled without quite knowing why. This short exercise helps you put words to what really matters, so you can use it as a compass.
Which of these feel like you?
Tap every value that feels important to how you want to live. Don't overthink it, and don't choose what you feel you should value. Go with what makes you think "yes, that's me". Aim for around ten to fifteen.
Now choose your top five
This is the hard bit, and that's the point. If you could only take five of these with you into the next year of your life, which would they be? Notice the ones you can't bear to let go of.
Put them in order
Move your values up and down until the order feels right. A good question to ask: "If two of these pulled me in different directions, which would win?"
My core values
What matters most to me
Bringing your values to life
Knowing your values is the easy part. The real difference comes from noticing them day to day. Take a few minutes with these questions, in a notebook or just in your head.
Where do you see them?
Which areas of your life already reflect your top value? Which areas feel furthest away from it? My free Wheel of Life can help you look at this.
Where is the tension?
Think of something that has been bothering you lately. Is one of your values being squeezed? Naming it often takes some of the sting out.
One small step
What is one thing you could do this week that honours your number one value? Keep it small enough that you'll actually do it.
Optional
Would you like to send me your core values?
If you'd like to talk them through, send them over and I'll get back to you personally. It's completely up to you, and nothing is sent unless you press the button.
Why values matter
A compass for when life gets busy
Most of us don't think about our values very often. We feel them, though. That quiet "this isn't right" feeling is often a value being ignored, and that warm sense of "this is me" is usually a value being lived.
When I work with clients going through big changes, coming back to their values is one of the most steadying things we do. It turns hard decisions into clearer ones.
Before you start, look back
Think of a time you felt really happy, a time you felt proud of yourself, and a time that was really hard. What was going on? What mattered to you then? The answers often point straight at your values.
Think about people you admire
It could be someone you know or someone you've never met. What is it about them you admire? The qualities we notice in others are often the ones we care about most ourselves.
Valuing something isn't the same as a value
You might value money because it brings security. Security might be the real value, and money is just one way of getting it. Asking "and why does that matter to me?" helps you find what sits underneath.
Keep them where you'll see them
Write your top values on a sticky note by the mirror, or make them your phone background. Values only help if you remember them when it counts.
Come back to them
Your values can shift as life changes, especially after big events like illness, loss, children leaving home or a change of career. Revisit this every year or so, or whenever you feel a bit lost.
Know what matters, but not sure how to live it?
That's often where coaching helps most. Together we can look at where your values are being squeezed, and find realistic ways to bring more of them into your everyday life. Bring your list to a free 20-minute chat and we'll start there.